"He's a magic man - He's got magic hands."
"I have been having the most wonderful time..." - Hedwig Robinson.
And I have. I'm a little mixed right now, but so was yesterday. For every uncomfortable glance in one direction, there was an arm wrapped around me in the other. I haven't updated in great detail for a few days, so I will do my best to explain; please excuse the alternating emotions. I don't mean to focus on anything in particular; some things just happened to stick out [;)] better in memory.
Alright, alright: Friday... Well, Friday was supposed to be fun. And really, most of it was. Unfortunately a great chunk of it was a desperate reminder to Danielle that life doesn't have to suck 24/7 and while the trampoline at Kristen's house helped distract, it did little to dwarf the incredible sadness experienced that day.
I know Danielle is upset. And she gives me little credit when she says I don't know why. I don't know what's in her head, but I'm not oblivious. If I seem cold, unfeeling towards her troubles it's purely for selfish reasons. It really is. I'm just... drained, exhausted. I'm tired. She keeps saying she doesn't want to feel the way she is. I fully understand that; I know it. There is only so much sympathy one can voice before it starts to sound (incorrectly) insincere and just... hollow. Danielle, I love you - I'm here for you. But I can't be the one to approach you with it. I can't keep saying "Danielle, are you okay?" Because I know the answer already; let me know why.
That as Friday. Sad-Happy-Sad-Sad-Sad-Happy-Sad.
I've been talking to Jake for the good part of the week after all-too-brief encounters on two previous Saturdays starting on April 6th. I'd seen photos, seen him in person twice, but something about a "date attitude"... I was just absolutely floored by him. I don't know if it was obvious to him, but I was just so struck by his eyes and his face... He was... warm. I read in his Live Journal that he said I was the one who was warm. It's funny; I was thinking the same about him.
We went to the Cafe Name-I-Cannot-Pronouce on Bloomfield after trendy and dark Cafe Ecclectic plans fell threw with a line going out the door. He ordered a vanilla milkshake... I ordered something like calle a Coppa Mexico. We talked about families, which as anyone who knows me is aware, a lengethly discussion for me. We didn't even get into great detail, but it was really interesting to talk with him.
Following about an hour spent there, we walked back to the theatre where I mumbled through introductions to cast. I don't think I was introducing him so much as "This is Jake" but as "This is Jake; he's with me". I didn't actually say it that last way simply because... Because. However, it was soon cleared up that he was with me, sitting next to each other, arms around. Good job, so far Jake: you've gotten cast approval from Sean, Wednesday, Danielle, Willow, and Genevieve. They like you. :)
I almost didn't want to leave for the show because I was just... comfortable... And I am never comfortable. He asked me if he could kiss me before the show. He'd already kissed my cheek, I'd licked his face... But he asked me if he would out of line for a pre-show kiss. I was only so willing to oblige and first lips-contact was achieved. If there was a moment beforehand that I questioned wanting to leave, that was the topper.
Backstage, I talked with Genevieve about lots of things that I am glad we could talk about. As if she needed a "dish pass". Girl should know I rarely keep secrets from her. I'm not sure why... She is so... talkable-to. Genn, just smack me if I become too much.
The show was something I consider... excellent. I was immensely proud of Willow, who nailed her second Janet performance despite a feeling of yuckyness towards the end. Willow, you are awesome.
The List: Danielle as Magenta, Allyson as Columbia, Teresa as Criminologist, Sean as Frank, George as Brad, Gamsby as Riff Raff, Louis as Rocky, Angelo as Eddie, Genevieve as Dr. Scott, Willow as Janet. Transies: Nate, Marc, Gary/Jason, Liz. Trixie: Liz. Betty: Marc. Jason/Gary as Ralph. Tech: Angelo, Erin, Genevieve, Mike, Jason. Lights: Jen.
M.I.A. - Chad, Larry, Carrie.
As I watched Danielle perform Magenta, I actually caught myself wondering why she wasn't the regular instead of Teresa. I know she loves Janet, but she fucking embodies Magenta... Excellent. After a brief hiatus, Allyson came back as Columbia and y'know... I really like watching her Columbia. She was off at points (aren't we all, from time to time) but it was nice to see her back again. Didn't see much of Teresa as Crim; it doesn't help that most of Crim's scenes are solo, without anyone else on stage but she looked adorable with her pinstripes and purple hair. Fucked up kick-line because I couldn't hear the music very clearly. Our audience is gettin' a-rowdy-er.
After the show, we took our venture to the diner, where I sat next to Jake and Genevieve. Genevieve was just beaming the whole night. Arms, legs, and heads leaning against one another throughout the night... It was utterly comforting. I cannot stress the "comfortable" enough. I think he thought so too.
After an excellent CFR poem (first week without minutes; I feel bad for my negligence but there were 38 people there!), we started to exit around 4 am. As Kristen, Chris, and Danielle headed for the parking lot, I stopped Jake and told him I had a wonderful time, wanted to do it again, and I kissed him on the mouth and started on my way. "No, give me a real kiss" he said with a smirk and pulled me back into him.
I don't want to be graphic, but y'know... I've never had a person's tongue in my mouth before. I took the initative to walk away first. I didn't know how long I'd stay there kissing him if I didn't pull off.
I want to kiss him again.
I got home and had dreams that required a cold shower upon awakening.
And I have. I'm a little mixed right now, but so was yesterday. For every uncomfortable glance in one direction, there was an arm wrapped around me in the other. I haven't updated in great detail for a few days, so I will do my best to explain; please excuse the alternating emotions. I don't mean to focus on anything in particular; some things just happened to stick out [;)] better in memory.
Alright, alright: Friday... Well, Friday was supposed to be fun. And really, most of it was. Unfortunately a great chunk of it was a desperate reminder to Danielle that life doesn't have to suck 24/7 and while the trampoline at Kristen's house helped distract, it did little to dwarf the incredible sadness experienced that day.
I know Danielle is upset. And she gives me little credit when she says I don't know why. I don't know what's in her head, but I'm not oblivious. If I seem cold, unfeeling towards her troubles it's purely for selfish reasons. It really is. I'm just... drained, exhausted. I'm tired. She keeps saying she doesn't want to feel the way she is. I fully understand that; I know it. There is only so much sympathy one can voice before it starts to sound (incorrectly) insincere and just... hollow. Danielle, I love you - I'm here for you. But I can't be the one to approach you with it. I can't keep saying "Danielle, are you okay?" Because I know the answer already; let me know why.
That as Friday. Sad-Happy-Sad-Sad-Sad-Happy-Sad.
I've been talking to Jake for the good part of the week after all-too-brief encounters on two previous Saturdays starting on April 6th. I'd seen photos, seen him in person twice, but something about a "date attitude"... I was just absolutely floored by him. I don't know if it was obvious to him, but I was just so struck by his eyes and his face... He was... warm. I read in his Live Journal that he said I was the one who was warm. It's funny; I was thinking the same about him.
We went to the Cafe Name-I-Cannot-Pronouce on Bloomfield after trendy and dark Cafe Ecclectic plans fell threw with a line going out the door. He ordered a vanilla milkshake... I ordered something like calle a Coppa Mexico. We talked about families, which as anyone who knows me is aware, a lengethly discussion for me. We didn't even get into great detail, but it was really interesting to talk with him.
Following about an hour spent there, we walked back to the theatre where I mumbled through introductions to cast. I don't think I was introducing him so much as "This is Jake" but as "This is Jake; he's with me". I didn't actually say it that last way simply because... Because. However, it was soon cleared up that he was with me, sitting next to each other, arms around. Good job, so far Jake: you've gotten cast approval from Sean, Wednesday, Danielle, Willow, and Genevieve. They like you. :)
I almost didn't want to leave for the show because I was just... comfortable... And I am never comfortable. He asked me if he could kiss me before the show. He'd already kissed my cheek, I'd licked his face... But he asked me if he would out of line for a pre-show kiss. I was only so willing to oblige and first lips-contact was achieved. If there was a moment beforehand that I questioned wanting to leave, that was the topper.
Backstage, I talked with Genevieve about lots of things that I am glad we could talk about. As if she needed a "dish pass". Girl should know I rarely keep secrets from her. I'm not sure why... She is so... talkable-to. Genn, just smack me if I become too much.
The show was something I consider... excellent. I was immensely proud of Willow, who nailed her second Janet performance despite a feeling of yuckyness towards the end. Willow, you are awesome.
The List: Danielle as Magenta, Allyson as Columbia, Teresa as Criminologist, Sean as Frank, George as Brad, Gamsby as Riff Raff, Louis as Rocky, Angelo as Eddie, Genevieve as Dr. Scott, Willow as Janet. Transies: Nate, Marc, Gary/Jason, Liz. Trixie: Liz. Betty: Marc. Jason/Gary as Ralph. Tech: Angelo, Erin, Genevieve, Mike, Jason. Lights: Jen.
M.I.A. - Chad, Larry, Carrie.
As I watched Danielle perform Magenta, I actually caught myself wondering why she wasn't the regular instead of Teresa. I know she loves Janet, but she fucking embodies Magenta... Excellent. After a brief hiatus, Allyson came back as Columbia and y'know... I really like watching her Columbia. She was off at points (aren't we all, from time to time) but it was nice to see her back again. Didn't see much of Teresa as Crim; it doesn't help that most of Crim's scenes are solo, without anyone else on stage but she looked adorable with her pinstripes and purple hair. Fucked up kick-line because I couldn't hear the music very clearly. Our audience is gettin' a-rowdy-er.
After the show, we took our venture to the diner, where I sat next to Jake and Genevieve. Genevieve was just beaming the whole night. Arms, legs, and heads leaning against one another throughout the night... It was utterly comforting. I cannot stress the "comfortable" enough. I think he thought so too.
After an excellent CFR poem (first week without minutes; I feel bad for my negligence but there were 38 people there!), we started to exit around 4 am. As Kristen, Chris, and Danielle headed for the parking lot, I stopped Jake and told him I had a wonderful time, wanted to do it again, and I kissed him on the mouth and started on my way. "No, give me a real kiss" he said with a smirk and pulled me back into him.
I don't want to be graphic, but y'know... I've never had a person's tongue in my mouth before. I took the initative to walk away first. I didn't know how long I'd stay there kissing him if I didn't pull off.
I want to kiss him again.
I got home and had dreams that required a cold shower upon awakening.
satisfied