"I'm waiting - I'm waiting for you. I'm aching - I'm aching for you."
Woke up today a few times (I do that frequently on Rocky aftermath Sundays) but when I finally got out of bed, I was feeling really unsettled. I could not explain it. I ate, but wasn't hungry. Watched TV but wasn't interested. Showered simply because I felt really gross. I've also been drinking this can of Diet Coke because I opened it, wanting it cold and sort of forgetting about it, and now I don't want it to get warm and yucky so I'm compelled to drink it as it's slowly becoming warm and yucky. Help me; I'm trapped in a world of run-on sentences.
Well, finally, I checked my answering machine and I got two messages from Jake. The first was him briefly saying hi, letting me know he got to Freakon and that he was having a really good time. The second one, as I predicted, was also Jake. However, he sounded so... broken... It was extremely painful to hear him. Verge of tears, or nearing the end of them... The day hadn't been kind to him, but he didn't elaborate. Never before have the closing words "I love you" sounded so pained... It really concerns me... I have no way of communicating with him until late because I don't want to interrupt daytime events at the con and I don't know his schedule... I think I'll try him around 8.
I'm really upset about all this.
...
In any other news... Before this, it was an ok weekend... Friday was no school, of course so that was good. I went to Woodbridge for Sarah's birthday show (an impressive turn as Frank) with Kristen, John, Genevieve, Chris, Danielle, Michael, and surprise guests Nate, Allyson, Gamsby, Angelo, and Sean. Apparently Nate went for Chad (who did not show up) and Allyson... It was so strange seeing her... I know it hasn't been all that long, but she looked very different (I mean outside of a recent haircut)... It was awkward. And I'm even one of the few who I thought she left on good terms with. I think because she wasn't there, she doesn't know who on which "side", and feels threatened in general by cast people therefore. Hearsay, but who can be certain. Maybe Sean (who seemed just as awkward with her, probably because he's still on cast.)
People have been saying she won't be coming back to the show. I think if she was going to, the anniversary show would be the one she could appear at, but I have my doubts just as everyone else.
Diner came next with Nate, Danielle, Chris, and the Kids and that was pretty fun-fun-fun! Mostly. The Kids are just so easy to have fun with. Bohemian poetry occured, food did too. And Nate and I talked for a bit about stuff. I should schedule some out-of-Rocky time with him, he's actually pretty easy to talk to.
We got back to Danielle's after 5 AM and in my hazy state, I woke myself up (being in said hazy state freaks me out, when I snap out of it, I'm fully awake). Danielle and I talked about this movie premise about a stranded duck, for Disney or something. Yeah... We could be awake for a while but there was no denying we were tired as fuck. :)
Sleep.
Woke. Late.
Saturday was pretty good. Mostly. I don't know, I was playing Frank that night and it really humbled me. I know I say a lot that I fuck up at the show and others tell me I did well... Last night, I never felt so out of character. I look forward to being Brad next week. I want to play Frank again, but I will certainly have to work with it.
::shrug::
Maybe it's just not meant to be.
Cast List - Genevieve as Eddie and Dr. Scott, Teresa as Magenta, Gamsby as Criminologist, Willow as Columbia, Danielle as Janet, Marc as Riff Raff, Jason/Gary as Brad, Jason as Rocky, George as Frank. Transies: Michael, Nate, Genevieve. Lights: Chad. Tech: Angelo, Erin.
MIA - Larry, Liz, Carrie, Jen, Sean, Wednesday.
Called Out - Louis.
Ah... I'm unsettled still.
Not happy.
Well, finally, I checked my answering machine and I got two messages from Jake. The first was him briefly saying hi, letting me know he got to Freakon and that he was having a really good time. The second one, as I predicted, was also Jake. However, he sounded so... broken... It was extremely painful to hear him. Verge of tears, or nearing the end of them... The day hadn't been kind to him, but he didn't elaborate. Never before have the closing words "I love you" sounded so pained... It really concerns me... I have no way of communicating with him until late because I don't want to interrupt daytime events at the con and I don't know his schedule... I think I'll try him around 8.
I'm really upset about all this.
...
In any other news... Before this, it was an ok weekend... Friday was no school, of course so that was good. I went to Woodbridge for Sarah's birthday show (an impressive turn as Frank) with Kristen, John, Genevieve, Chris, Danielle, Michael, and surprise guests Nate, Allyson, Gamsby, Angelo, and Sean. Apparently Nate went for Chad (who did not show up) and Allyson... It was so strange seeing her... I know it hasn't been all that long, but she looked very different (I mean outside of a recent haircut)... It was awkward. And I'm even one of the few who I thought she left on good terms with. I think because she wasn't there, she doesn't know who on which "side", and feels threatened in general by cast people therefore. Hearsay, but who can be certain. Maybe Sean (who seemed just as awkward with her, probably because he's still on cast.)
People have been saying she won't be coming back to the show. I think if she was going to, the anniversary show would be the one she could appear at, but I have my doubts just as everyone else.
Diner came next with Nate, Danielle, Chris, and the Kids and that was pretty fun-fun-fun! Mostly. The Kids are just so easy to have fun with. Bohemian poetry occured, food did too. And Nate and I talked for a bit about stuff. I should schedule some out-of-Rocky time with him, he's actually pretty easy to talk to.
We got back to Danielle's after 5 AM and in my hazy state, I woke myself up (being in said hazy state freaks me out, when I snap out of it, I'm fully awake). Danielle and I talked about this movie premise about a stranded duck, for Disney or something. Yeah... We could be awake for a while but there was no denying we were tired as fuck. :)
Sleep.
Woke. Late.
Saturday was pretty good. Mostly. I don't know, I was playing Frank that night and it really humbled me. I know I say a lot that I fuck up at the show and others tell me I did well... Last night, I never felt so out of character. I look forward to being Brad next week. I want to play Frank again, but I will certainly have to work with it.
::shrug::
Maybe it's just not meant to be.
Cast List - Genevieve as Eddie and Dr. Scott, Teresa as Magenta, Gamsby as Criminologist, Willow as Columbia, Danielle as Janet, Marc as Riff Raff, Jason/Gary as Brad, Jason as Rocky, George as Frank. Transies: Michael, Nate, Genevieve. Lights: Chad. Tech: Angelo, Erin.
MIA - Larry, Liz, Carrie, Jen, Sean, Wednesday.
Called Out - Louis.
Ah... I'm unsettled still.
Not happy.