Dakota

Ok, so this newsletter thing is due on Wednesday... I volunteered for it - basically on the premise that no one else was doing it and unless someone took initiative, it'd never get done. Plus, I wanted to contribute, and I wanted it done right. So, I latched onto it. This newsletter is for the GLBTS group at UCC... And it's due Wednesday - and it's not done yet! And I don't have lots of content... Blargh.

And I'm stressed about school because I honestly just want to not do any of it... I'm concerned as to how I'm going to explain why I missed this past Communications class (seeing as she's the one professor who vocally cares if you're not there)... And one thing I'd love to do is have the entire project that we're doing for that class to be done. But the likelihood of that is slim, particularly if I'm going to be working on this newsletter who what appears to be the better half of tomorrow. But I'd like to do that - and I am going to attempt it. It won't explain why I ditched the class, but it'll counter-act the statements that I'm going to be far behind that it is rude of me to expect the professor to go over things separately with me - despite the fact that she has yet to need to do that... ever. I know how to turn on the computer, use PowerPoint, download images and sound, and feign productivity - her being in class is useless to me.

But she is really nice, which is why I feel bad. That and she's nice, but has the ability to be an extremely bitchy individual.

Stressed about Matt... He sorta comes with it.

Stressed about the fact that it appears that while I haven't e-mailed someone yet, I might as well not bother anymore because they don't want to hear from me, 'cause I've apparently "lost" them already... or been lost... or something. And if I wanted to not put any thought into it, I'd just toss a brief, uninterested e-mail along. And actually... the reason I don't want to call or IM is because of the fact that I just want to just speak and not have responses yet.

Stressed with the world turning... and it not stopping, and me feeling like I'm losing so much time... running out of it; and that I might as well give up 'cause if I haven't caught up yet, how will I manage to do so later?

Stressed with the prospects of moving - and the concerns that now fill said moving plans.

Stressed over the English essays I can't think of how to write.

Stressed over the math problems I can't think of how to avoid.

Stressed over the Western Civilization classes that I can't think of how to remain conscious during.

Stressed with impatience - mine and others' - and my inability to slack off and enjoy it... 'cause then what's the point? I can't even procrastinate well!

Stressed that I will remain unsatisfied with elements in my life and that they will overshadow everything and I won't even be able to escape!

Stressed that Saturdays never happen soon enough.

Stressed that Saturdays happen really fast.

Stressed that I will compromise just to make things easier.

Stressed that things won't get easier even if I compromise.

Stressed that I won't recognize how to compromise.

Stressed.