I still haven't finalized my plans for Christmas... It's not even a holiday I celebrate, and a lot of people want a piece of me. And I want to cram as much without driving myself crazy. With Matt gone, I was certain that I would be here, alone, and potentially happier for it (as opposed to doing something, anything else at all). Maybe I was punishing myself, or doing a quiet dramatic; it's still an option that I actually wish I could take. However because I do enjoy the time and company of others who will be available at that time, I don't think it's going to happen.

My ideal plans were to somehow get to my parents' in South Jersey, and then travel with them to Connecticut for the grandparents, and then go back to South Jersey and spend the time there with them and my step-sisters and get my sarcasm on, and to come back with Andrea. From the look of it, none of that fits with anyone else's plans. Dad and Michele are going to Connecticut on Wednesday (when I need to be back to the work). Andrea is going to be in South Jersey from Monday to Wednesday. The first visitation isn't the most important place (be it Connecticut or Cape May), but I don't know if I will be able to get to Connecticut at all.

I will disappoint at least someone. I already have.