Dakota

Oh, right. It slipped my mind probably because it was so off-the-cuff and random. Hearing "Papa Don't Preach" was only reason it jogged my memory. Dad is moving.

Dad has largely been on the movie every few years, if I think about it. Since I was born, he has lived in Madison and Durham, Connecticut; Plainfield (once with me, and then when he moved out pre-divorce) and Bridgewater, New Jersey (when he moved in with Michele, pre-divorce); Belvidere, Tennessee (with Michele, post-divorce), and then two different locations in the Cape May area, back again in New Jersey. He's now moving to Forked River.

He, Michele, and Daniel will actually be slightly closer to me, now. He's moving to the location between the two churches in different townships, that he's been alternating Sunday's with.

He called me on Friday with this news; I'm not sure when the decision came. He's already put a bid on the house he wants to move to, and he's putting the rancher on the market. But it's happening soon, if it happens. I'm pretty sure they're planning to move to that area even if the house they want (which has a deck, and a pool, and a second floor, probably among other things) falls through.

And that about covers it.

Hi George and Amy,
I hope your Dad let you know that Mom Mom is in the hospital. She has congestive heart failure. She is getting stronger and they are getting all her meds and other health issues straightened out. We expected her to be out by now, but her blood presure is still high, so she will be in a couple more days. She will go to a rehibilitation facility for a bit after that to finish recouperating before she goes home.

Call me if you want to talk,
860-///-////
you can call Mom- MOm at the hospital too, I am sure she would love to hear from you. Pop is rather lonesone and a call at their house would be really nice for him too if you have time.
Take care,
Aunt Sue

Needless to say, my father did not tell me. And this means Mom Mom has been there for at least a few days, if she has progress.

Notice
The following remarks were written on days not necessarally in conjunction with this one. How I feel now may not exactly be how I felt then. However, I really wanted to be honest and post what I'd written even if it no longer holds true. That way, at least, it won't seem like some bizarre transition... or at least, less of one.

06.12.02 - Listening to Bif Naked, Purge CD.

I'm here ar Cape May - I figured I'd write some journal entries and post 'em up at LJ when I got back, which looks like it'll be the Monday after I was expecting. I guess that's ok - I'll miss two shows, though, unfortunately one more than I wanted to. That will probably mean I'll have to break Danielle's hopes of being "my" Janet for yet another week. Inescapable, really.
As for my personal vacation... it sucks. I've been getting some wonderful "therapy" through my Bif Naked and "Jake2" mix CDs (the latter of which sang me to sleep the last two nights). Me and Bif, though... While I hate that I had to connect to her lyrics so deeply by going through a painful break-up, I have found new relevance. Go "Choking on the Truth", "Dawn" ("It's not that you son't know what love is / It's that you are not in love with me"), "Stolen Sidewalk", etc.... Agh, get out of my head, woman! "Religion" still makes me think of him (what doesn't) but the song's sole vulnerability now just makes me misty. The weekend of the prom... I decided that was my "song" for him (I don't think we ever really had a "song"... Although we both had songs for each other like "Everywhere" and "Kiss the Rain"... and really, his affection for "What Would Happen" quietly disturbed me, especially his relation for it to me). "The brutal truth - it is profound."
Strange dreams, too. Saw Fight Club again - Dad and Michele has never seen it. Their comments after (Dad's "gross" line comes to mind) implied their dislike, but they seemed to enjoy it when there wasn't blood spattered everywhere. Honestly, so did I. I liked Helena Bonham Carter even more this time and caught lots of fun looks and lines that enhanced my knowledge of the ending already. Dad was so proud when he saw one of the Brad blips. Not that he knew what the hell he was looking at.
That's about all I really want to get into, at least right now. I'm off to Wildwood in like an hour, and a Leviticus Bible study later tonight (my Dad's teaching it, c'mon, you don't think that I'd suffer through that otherwise, right?) Actually, I like the way my Dad teaches and I've read Leviticus so... yeah.
Alright, til the next time.

[10.53 AM] - ("Tango Shoes")

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06.14.02

I did what I probably shouldn't have and called Jake's cellphone. Got his machine. Let some message and was both angry and glad he didn't pick up. Mostly angry. I really wish he had.
I'm not so well right now.
In fact I think some serious crying may result.
Thank you, Linz, for your ear tonight.
I miss him so much. I feel so empty.

[11.17 PM]

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06.17.02 - Listening to P!nk, Missundaztood CD

Day like any other... I've yet to allow myself any time to fully not think about the obvious (starts with a "J" but there've been distractions. Honestly, I don't want anymore distractions, I want this done. Well, if that's the best that I can do, then that's what I want.
In non-masochistic news, my father is resigning from his church in Ventnor. The unitatian Church also in Ventnor wanted him and after two years at VCC, he decided to become a UU minister like he had originally planned over a decade ago. Still, it's the first time. I think it'll be a good switch for him, and he's going to a group of people that like him a lot, especially considering that no one voted against him. So, yeah, that's going on.
Went to see the Atlantic City Surf yesterday for Father's Day. I was not terribly enthused, but it was a good game. The Surf uncharacteristically beat the crap out of the Camden Riversharks ( 9 to 2).
Called Danielle today. So it was good to hear from her. I'm looking forward to North Jersey again. Just the way things are, I feel disconnected down here. And in an very online way, I am. I leave Saturday, driven by Andrea. So, yeah, cool. Andrea, by the way, will be down here Wednesday, so that should be cool.
I'm gonna sign off and write maybe.

[3.47 PM] ("My Vietnam")

I was gone for a while and I have returned (obviously).
I went to South Jersey to stay with my father and step-mother for Easter break and all was generally well and good... I really wish I was extremely enthusastic to share with you what I did...
I saw Jillian again, which was excellent to because I miss seeing her, and hadn't since July. We talked, moped about, she teased me at being a whore on the Dent (nods towards Logan, Brandon, and new boy Matt - although I'm in no stance to say I'm even interested in pursuing Matt on any level other than friendly; he seems to agree), and stuff and stuff and stuff. It was really nice to see her again.
Dad and Michele (step-mother) saw Hedwig... I had Dad quoting it by the end of my stay and I made him a copy of the lyrics to "The Origin of Love"... He seemed to really respond well to it.
I think I'm going to Iceland. More on that another time.
Saw Death to Smoochy, which was enjoyable as well.
Sorry if I seem really glazed with all of this.
In any case, I'm back and had a fabulous time at Rocky this past week. It was Hat Pick Night; check the cast:
Willow as Eddie, Gamsby as Dr. Scott, Larry as Trixie, Danielle as Rocky, Allyson as Riff Raff, Angelo as Janet, Nate as Magenta, Sean as Criminologist, Wednesday as Brad, Chad as Columbia, George as Frank. Transies: Genevieve, Larry, Mike of the Kids, Jason. Tech: Gary, Erin, and Marc. Lights: Jen.
Yes... I got fucking Frank! I was extremely nervous - this is a role I've wanted for a long time and somehow I managed to get it... Wow... "Sweet Transvestite" proved that once I'm in heels, I should keep walking in them. I stumbled only once (sorta, kinda... I'm probably the only one who noticed it) and it was when I finally reached the throne and stopped moving my feet. I borrowed almost everything from Sean...
As for the other roles, Danielle made a fine Rocky, Willow an adorable Eddie, Allyson an excellent Riff Raff, Angelo a terrifying Janet... I really can't comment on too much of the other performances... I realize that when Frank's on stage, it's usually all about him. You just sort of don't pay attention to much anyone else that you're not immedately interacting with. At least this is how it was for me, and it was my first time, so who can say.
I received many compliments... I can honestly say my worst scene was Lab, simply because the audience was so fucking loud that I couldn't hear my ques, so it was mostly "mumble mumble mumble... tonight is the night... mumble mumble mumble... on the sonic ocelator..." Ack! :)
There were some rough spots. Nate seemed to be unpleased with his getting Magenta. He got it last year but on stage, he seemed ok. Nate is usually able to capably hide his contempt on stage. It's everywhere else that he blows up. He did not talk to me at all that night. We were the last two picked for Magenta and Frank. I was selected for Frank, therefore I must've been the bad guy.
Jason stormed off stage after getting Transie and did not so much refuse to play the role as to flat out disappear into the back row and occasionally get into the way on the stairs. I know he hates the role, but I found it extremely childish and above all disrespectful to the cast.
The CFR held court in the diner after the show.
At the meeting today, we discussed several things, particularly Jason's behaviour last night and Idiotboy's possible return to the theatre. By vote (6 to 5), he shall not be allowed back in the theatre after breaking the no-sex rule. For those just tuning in, yes, Idiotboy had sex in the theatre during "I'm Going Home" some time ago. After being banished, he duped people into thinking he was allowed in when Larry was not there last week and saw the show. He's gone now. He's not allowed in under any circumstances. I know he's a friend of Erin, but even she agreed he shouldn't be allowed back.
Danielle had something of an emotional breakdown before and after the meeting today. I can be there only in ways that I am currently (primarially as an ear and a shoulder; not a time where my opinions should at all enter in - this is her dilemna and only she can figure her way out. Whenever that may be.) It's extremely difficult to internally bitch about my own greivances when Danielle's world is falling apart like she visions it is. I wish her solace. And space from her father. It's gone to a point where apparently his presence alone is slowly burning her skin off. He needs to go away.
School's tomorrow.
Guess if I want to go back.

The day has been long.
And uneventful.
I've had a lovely few days. Really. I just don't feel like going into great detail about them. But yay for the Kids, for they rock.
I shall miss Rocky this week but I have missed my father for a while now so it shall be wonderful I am sure to see him again!

'Bout ready to call it a night. Sort of.
Agh.

I'm not myself right now.

My stomach hurts like something yucky. Anyone ever sat through "Elvira"? With that freaky demon casserole popping out of the pot? Yeah... Exactly...
In any event, today went off without much commotion. I spoke with my father today and filled him in with a month's load of rambles (school sucking like a diseased rat; cast off-balance yet interminably fun; college and SATS showing my not living in a "Truman Show" existence)... I miss him and Michele... I want to see them soon. I may take off a weekend to do that. Maybe March? Whenever Easter is...
I told Danielle I was willing to learn Columbia and did admit that, yeah, if I could I'd be Frank. However, Columbia's a fuck-load of work (Floorshow, Hot Patootie, Time Warp, random Lab movements...) Yeah, it's a chick role. So? It really is the only chick role I can imagine myself ever playing. Janet and Magenta are so not me, if only for the whole wearing-a-bra-thing. I can't imagine me playing Columbia, but I may ask Willow and/or Carrie to help me work on it should Hat Pick Night be eventful.
I was actually thinking about Hat Pick Night and my being able to play other roles convincingly. I could definately have fun with any role outside of Criminologist (I just don't find that a fun role in the least). But since I'd be definately not Brad or Transie because they're my regular roles... I'm hoping for something I can manage. But then again, that's March 30th and it's only the 4th of February. Agh, who knows where I'll find myself in that space of time.
We'll have new cast members by then.
Okay, I'm going to bed because I am feelin' a-sickly and my online boy wasn't online to make me feel better. Not that I hold that against him. Grrr.

Am I the only who finds this look on Britney frightening?



P.S. I took the test on Willow's website (http://www.angelfire.com/realm/huzzahuzzah/test.html) and scored a 46% strange tally. Whatever that means. I was amused, though.

I have nothing very exciting to say this time.
Cast conflicts. Saturday will be interesting.
SATS too. FUCK.

Realized that I missed my Dad today.