Dakota

I've been really cranky lately. Not for the longest stretches of time, but here and there. I've found myself really disinterested in others' pain or problems. I wouldn't say that I've become more self-centered, because I haven't really been obsessing myself, either. I've been pretty overwhelmed by lots of things going on though, so I have a feeling that I'm just trying to push everyone else out of it so I don't have one more thing to worry about.

Certain personality traits of others' are bugging me and I don't know if they've always been how they are and I'm just hypersensitive, if I'm finally just sick or frustrated enough by it to notice, or I'm crazy.

I've been having some good moments. Montreal was good. ( Montreal, finally )

On Thursday, Genevieve, Danielle, and I went to see Katie's directoral and acting effort You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown at Rutgers Camden. We met up with Liz, Rishard, and Angelo there, and Tara and Janice came soon after. Katie was Lucy, and she was very good. It was very strange to see a Lucy with a legit voice, since she's generally played up at screechy. Adults acting as children can either be really obnoxious or really amusing, and fortunately, this was the former. The show (which is essentially a bunch of short comic strip-like skits and longer scenes with centerpieced songs). It worked far better than any production of it I'd seen (I've seen it twice before), and I was really happy and proud for Katie.

I'm going to try to get myself out of the snit and funk. And also try writing in the journal more. It's the 24th and I've only written 4 times.

Last night's show was good and bad. It was probably a fine show for everyone else, but I had a pretty awful time as Brad. Working with Danielle helped me get through it, but I was not feeling it in the slightest. I felt completely unprepared, and a mess... I hadn't performed it straight in such a long time, I just didn't have everything with me, and while I had my choreography burned into my brain, I just don't feel I was doing very well. I know I did kickline very well and I know I pretty much nailed "Damnit Janet" because I barely even going through the motions for the rest of it. No more Brad for a long while, if I can help it.

The highlight of the night was the preshow, where was just me (and 2 lines from Genevieve). Spoke word preshows can be instant death, but this one went over well. I had a horrible time getting my nerve up (improvisation I can fake, but scripted lines I am convinced that I will fuck up... I did the same thing when it came to MSU-Mike's movie). But! It worked out, and the audience laughed. And apparently it wasn't obvious that I kept staring at my clipboard with the script on it. So it worked! Yay!

Right now, I'm home alone because Matt is in Ohio. He will be back tomorrow. He was in a car accident on Thursday. He is fine, but apparently the front of his car is a total mess. It's being worked on, and he's getting a rental car. We will be using that to go away for my birthday. Matt, Jamie, and I are going to Montreal the day before my birthday and staying the weekend.