Dakota

I don't know why I'm writing about this, especially since I never wrote about them actually getting married, but... Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have filed for divorce. How awesome it would have been had they been able to stay together for like 50 years despite all the negative public attention, the bitterness of the media, and the cruelty of even her fans.

To be fair, I'm not a fan of Kevin Federline... I think he looks like a ferret in a doo-rag. But that's not the point. They were a couple to root for, because, well, no one else was. I really would have liked to have thought that despite everything, they would have been in love and spited the whole world.

Meanwhile, Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon have also announced their separation. Bizarro!

To even things out, Neil Patrick Harris is in a stable, comfortable relationship--with a man! No, it's not terribly interesting or shocking, but that's ok; why should it have to be? He's in a boring, gay relationship! Good enough!

However, make no mistake: Kevin Federline is already a legend. And he didn't even have to do a damn thing to do it. It would be too much to ask for, for he and Paris Hilton to discover multi-decade bliss. But it would be so worth it for the rest of us.