Well, I have been a regular Writey McGee, haven't I.

Well. Basically I haven't wanted to. I've been busy, depressed, overextended, stressed, too angry, or too happy to post. There was just so much going on and almost none of it did I even want to really write about. This has been happening since around November, which began a heavy flow of topics that I didn't really want to reflect on, largely involving splintering interpersonal relationships, cast, fiscal responsibility, life goals, and work.

Today, however, has been a pretty okay day. It seems brighter; perhaps seasonal depression was my problem all along... it's finally getting warmer and sunnier and brighter, and I don't want to slit my wrists all that much. In fact, at all.

Not that I have really been that bad (nor would I be quite that cavalier if I was... maybe), but it's been a difficult time. Big changes in responsibility in work and environment, and there is never enough time in the day to do both everything I should be doing and want to also be doing (which sometimes is nothing... sometimes that really is the only thing I want to do). It's not very conducive to a blog, and I have always hated the idea of censoring myself. I'd rather just not write about it. As much shit as I have put out there about my friends, the cast, my family, or myself, there is just buckets worth of restraint and tact that I exercise. Plus, most of the time, I am so manic that it just won't matter later anyway.

So, I've been trying to write more to curb this. I am actively working on several projects and characters and that's exciting. Also exciting is that I actually have several notebook sheets filled with long term goals and explanations; it's not just lists of things--it's pretty cohesive. Of course I am not spending enough time on these projects, no matter how frequently I pick them up. I am not working that consistently, but I am trying. And one project, a musical that I am actually working on with Genevieve, already has most of the plot fleshed out and even lyrics and dialog written. It's exciting! I also know that even though this (and Lil Attila) have kept me from working on my character profile "Viktor," I will go back to him because he's reprising his performance at this year's SalonCon. Very exciting, that, too. Especially since Genevieve has invited me to much more involved now that we have something to look back on. And since Viktor and the musical are thematically similar if not related, they'll probably steal from each other.

Woo!

Work is on it's way to becoming better.

I've been also downloading A LOT of music.

Cast is eternally in flux, and I have 2 theme shows to prepare for (I really could've used last week's Hat Pick Night to bump me out the absolute awfulness of the week, but I got tech) in the next month: Zombie Night and Fairytale Night, the latter of which I'm pretty much calling all the shots on... That's exciting in and of itself; structuring a show and casting it as I wish. Plus while I am gunning for not a lead on Zombie Night (I just don't want the pressure or the expense especially since I'm a lead for Fairytale), I'm hoping to be a memorable ghoul all the same.

Lots of good things, really, coming up... concerts (the aforementioned Cyndi/Dresden/Cho affair and Rocky Horror event; plus HUMANWINE on the 17th, and who knows what else). Busy, busy, busy.

Here's to getting out of funks.

I have been suffering from a terrible bout of stress eating. I was attempting some work on the Lil Attila novel and haven't gotten past a third panel... I've been using the internet, text messaging Matt, eating, and television all as excuses to not get past anything. Legitimately, I'm at a block. Can't figure out how to get from where I am to where I need to be, convincingly. I have a lot of the last half figured out (although there's another bit that will probably give me similar problems later) but I can't fucking get there... Blargh.

I thought of like 3 other projects this past weekend. Most of those are online and complicated. And then there's my latest longterm venture: a musical. This is my trying once again to be a prodigy, 20 years too late. Genevieve and I are actually getting things written, though. It's a slow process, but these days, the weeks are flying by at a scary pace. Possibly because I haven't done my taxes yet, and I don't actually know how to do them.

Ok, I want to crawl into bed now and not wake up, so I think I'm making progress.

Plus South Park was on and about head lice. My head itches now.